| 22 January 2010
“Swish swash… swish…splash…” Ah! Those musical soothing sounds of early morning “teich”, the very first sounds to resonate in the Kashmiri households early in the morning; the ones which strike a chord in the ordinary housewives existence- whose name as a rule has to be either Daisy, Rosy, pinky, Lilly, Sweety or Bubbly if she lives in Down Town.
In the most common Kashmiri household one finds the “Woman in charge” with a mop and a bucket of water in hand, filling the empty early morning air with sounds of her splish splash cleaning that extends all the way down the stairs, into the “vot” and end at the “brande”. And just in case she happens to be in-charge of a “Daan”, the traditional cooking stove, then the family will have to wait a little longer for tea untill the centuries old ritual of “Dan levun” is over.
In more “posh” colonies- the ones doted with cota stone homes with remote control electric gates, women are not much different. They too like their middle class counterparts are obsessed with the cleanliness of their homes and in case they are working this “grand ritual” of home cleaning is carried out by the domestic help with utmost religious gaiety and fervour cleaning in the process every corner, shelf and edge of the home.
Such is Kashmiri obsession for home cleaning that the year is divided into cyclic “cleaning routines”. In early Spring all the remnants of the retreating winter, “Chill e bache”- dusty “namdas, kambals and leephs” are brought out and laid in the garden where grass has just begun to pop out. And a spring cleaning drive is carried out; warm clothes are packed shut and spring shades are released from long months of confinement.
Then comes summer cleaning, this is the cleaning season where the Kashmiri cleaning obsession goes “wholesale”. Curtains are washed… rooms are painted… the kitchen is literally scrapped… trees in the garden are trimmed and pruned… the car is excessively washed and the gallons of water are generously pumped into the garden untill the “direct connection” refuses to yield H2O.
And when winter arrives and muscles become taut and skin pores close and blood vessels shrink to prevent loss of heat the Kashmiri “cleanliness zeal” is not in the least bit effected.
So what if the cold has taken the better of our backs and bones- the inordinately clean housewife wont relent even in chilling winter. She continues to wake up in the mornings undeterred by the chilly winter and she religiously carries out the “tich ritual” with perfect gaiety and dosent even mind the “Shuh” (which is local parlance for frostbite) that she may catch and dosent even mind if she’d loose an ear or two in the process!
My eyes get moist when I see such zeal and enthusiasm for cleanliness in my community and I’m reminded of something our moral science teacher tried to drill into us (quite unsuccessfully though)- “CLEANLINESS IS CHARITY AND CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME…” and I am forced to think that Maybe Kashmiris are not so hopeless after all and that In Kashmir at least Charity begins at home.
But suddenly something brings me out of my honey filled daydreaming…
What’s this? it’s the Kashmiri housewife rising to the window after her early morning cleaning session and what do you know- “Splash!” goes all the grime and filth into the street. And so I’ve gotto swallow back my words and say… “In Kashmir Charity ends at home…”
Just incase someone thinks I am deliberately leaving out the men lemme tell you about the middle aged Kashmiri man obsessed with his dressing sense, who in local parlance is fondly called “Unkill”, though its quite easier to kill than unkill!
And surely in this race for “Charity ends at home” the “Unkill” is not far behind. After all “God helps those who help themselves” and so our Unkill helps himself in dressing up to look his best. In front of his dressing table this inordinately clean office-goer is putting on his coat and unmistakably his favourite cufflinks and then the tie has to be knotted and of course he can never forget his shiny black patented leather shoes. And now our godly Unkill is ready for office.
But unfortunately as soon as he leaves the home theres something troubling him. Something is clogged up in his throat. And what does he do? Nothing much… just the natural reflex… “Thu”…goes the sticky mass onto the already ill maintained PWD built road.
Unkill’s lower middle class contemporary, “Chache” goes a step further… in full public view at the Magarmal Bagh pavement. Making in the process the stray dogs to shy away and the commuters to turn the “other cheek”. There goes another feather in the cap… Here Charity doubtlessly ends at home.
And incase an innocent lil child remarks in innocence as to whats going on- he is quickly silenced with a “lallypap” or sometimes with a slap.
And this way we are conditioned to keep quiet lest we are in for lallypaps or slaps. And so no one dares do anything about it- why? Why this hypocrisy? Because we are all sailing in the same boat.
The GENext is no pack of innocent Lambs. They bear the onus of responsibility of the chocked up drains outside tutions centers, the littered gardens post- picnic, the plastic bottles adding taste to Lidder and the flashy “Kurkure” wrappers brushing their shoulders with Lotuses in the “Dull” Lake. Who cares? After all charity ends at home…
I wonder how many of us can bear someone throwing grime and filth on our staircases or how many can bear to see someone pee in their study or how many people go around spitting on the walls of their homes? Surely we are so particular about our homes that we’ll never let that happen but as soon as we come “outside” we are different species all together.
How conveniently we break the rules. How conveniently Pyariji throws her filth onto the street and how conveniently unkill kills the road and how conveniently the auto driver to save the trouble makes a U-Turn by conveniently picking up the Traffic cone, making way for himself and then placing it back- leaving the traffic policeman dumbfounded!
As soon as we come “outside” heads turn, tongues role, eyes go shut, mouths go “Thu Thu” and hands meticulously release flashy wrappers almost automatically and the pavement is just hungry for more.
This society has turned Hippocratic to a degree of irreversibility. We are obsessed with the cleanlines of the “personal” and let all that is labelled “public” go to hell. We have drawn such a line between “home” and “outside” that we have gone blind and indifferent.
I’ve seen it almost everywhere- none of us is immune to this hypocrisy.
Be it after a workshop “Discover yourself” where the teachers irrespective of how much they had discovered themselves, marked their newly discovered territories with flags of victory- disposable tea cups or be it the “Hungry Bunny” who goes around leaving a trail of Banana skins or junk wrappers as if it’s a treasure trail… leading right to the treasure.
What a glorious city we are creating! What a fine motto: “Charity ends at home”- but should it?
Having spend a childhood in far more developed part of the world- Saudi Arabia, I know that things can be different. Its not impossible- it just needs a beginning and some time. I have to admit that we people there live in dirty places. The flats are usually in a mess with children’s toys scattered all around and the kitchen lies dotted with dirty dishes on the postponement list. The curtains and sofas often fall prey to sharp objects. And people have a sick sense of dressing- whats worse is that the gals go out in their night dresses (concealed of course by abayas).
BUT, as soon as we step “outside” a complete discipline takes over- a civic sense prevails and the naughtiest of kids dare not spill anything on the roads and hands automatically drop the “Bebzi” Cans right into the “Baldiya” dustbins. As a reason the roads are sparkling clean and no one dares to throw anything- also for fear of being fined.
The ever litter-hungry roads of Kashmir would be shocked to see their counterparts of the Arabian desert. Arabian woman as a matter of custom have very long abayas with their ends trailing behind and what do you know- they never catch any dust. Some things just speak for themselves!
We don’t bother for the streets we walk on or our neighbours or for the natural heritage we have been entrusted with. We disown the “responsibility” while we continue to claim the “prestige” of being from Kashmir- “paradise on Earth”… land of Lakes… skier’s Paradise… Venice of the East and what not!
Even on Hajj a charming Kashmiri Lady was busy explaining to the Arabs that we come from KASHMIR. She told them of the Saffron and the white snow and the “Dull” Lake and of the “Ring Shawl” which can squeeze through a ring. This was news to me but then I remembered our “Ring Roads” … they too as a result of being choked up by our cheap “redas” and wrongly parked cars, what ever portion is left open can surely pass through a ring!
In our society truth is the first casuality and anyone critically analyzing the self of our society and showing us the barebones of humanity is silenced with “lallypaps” and if that’s not enough then “slaps” being true to the motto: “Speech is silver silence is gold”!
And soon enough we end up with a society where concerns are restricted to the personal, where humans turn Hippocratic and indifferent and where there is no one left to shake or shape us! That is the revenge that time has taken from us.
We’ve become like the monkeys of a control experiment. Scientists placed monkeys in a cage at the centre of which they placed a ladder with a bunch of bananas. The monkeys obviously climbed up to get a banana but each time a monkey went up all the monkeys were given a shower of cold water like a punishment. Soon the monkeys learnt and whenever anyone of them would climb up they’d pull him down and beat him up. Soon they were all afraid and no one dared to climb up for they knew that if anyone did that everyone was in for a cold shower and the one who did it would get a beating. So they ended up just staring at the bananas. Then the scientists put some more monkeys in there. The New monkeys knew absolutely nothing about the Shower or beating so they immediately climbed to the bananas but the older monkeys would pounce on them and beat them before they could do so. Soon none of the new monkeys dared to climb though they didn’t know why! Then something remarkable happened… all the old monkeys who knew about the shower were removed leaving only new monkeys. However they didn’t climb up- they had been conditioned! What more, when another group of monkeys was put in there and they tried to climb these monkeys pulled them down!
In the end everyone ended up stopping others from climbing the ladder and no one had enough sense to ask “why?” That’s how society has ended up today!
This however has to change. Stubbornness has to be replaced with self assessment and a wish to be better in every possible way.
We should be proud of our label but without disowning the responsibility that comes with it and since charity begins at home let this change begin from you but kindly don’t let Charity ever End at home!
Take heed before a day comes when our future generations look back at us and revile us for our ways and envy us for they will have to only read about snow and lakes and rivers while we actually have been endowed with them and yet we savour the pride and disown the responsibility!